My niece is my own personal waitress

I found out the sweetest thing today...

Lance Bass from N'SYNC is GAY

it came as no surprise, but it made me strangely happy.

Anyway...life is good. Real Good. My friends have no idea how much I love them. I've met some awesome people too. Chere's friends are cool. I also met some really cool, laid back guys from my apt. complex. They have some friends from Paraguay, all 3 of them had pony-tails. School starts soon, and I'm terrified.

Prozac Nation is a good movie. It was depressing as all hell. I was warned. It was painfully real. But I really like movies like that. At times, I tend to subject myself painful things like fucked up movies and actual crazy-real life situations. Then I act surprised. Too bad I don't ever realize it until I really think about it. It sounds so masochistic but I'm not talking about physical pain. All this should come as no surprise to anybody who even slightly knows me. I don't even know why I'm typing about this it's not that deep. It's the same reasons people ride roller coasters and jump out of airplanes. I was just trying to talk about Prozac Nation damnit.

I loved Clerks II. I cracked up. Beware of pillowpants. You never go ass-to-mouth.

"She was like a dinosaur about to eat another dinosaur" - My niece talking about my mom's anger this morning

Me and Heidi trying to be gangster...Weezer shirt and all.

I love fresh air....and breathing it.

"Circus goth girl, come and get your freak on!" -My niece....what the fuck has modern nickelodeon done to the world???????

Went to Worlds of Fun on Tuesday...still drunk at first. It was a damn good time. I finally rode the Mamba for the first time in my life. I ended up really liking it.

My car is fucking up. Its making unnecessarily loud noises. Muffler maybe? I'll find out Tuesday.

I got a hair cut today. Not much shorter than before. I got a bunch of layers put in it. I love it. I went to Choppers, those girls were awesome. They invited me to a Martini and Waxing party....interesting. Anway, I'm changing my hair a little bit more here soon. We'll see what happens.

My mom is really depressing me. Not because she's being mean, but because she keeps telling me sad stories from around the world. She won't stop. She's doing it right now.

mmmm...such sweet sin.

I fucking HATE June Bugs.

The Devil made me do it.

Pictures!

Cute = Evil

Self Explanatory

Hunger calls.

bacon

For about a week, I have slept in my own bed ONCE. I'm either on the couch at my moms or...somewhere else.

I've felt so free for the past few weeks, much more free than I have in probably years. Every once in a while, when I have more than a minute to really think about everything, there is still this pain. There is really only one way to describe it. It's like someone has a tenth of your heart and everytime you think about that person even for a second, they poke a needle into it. However, even though, every so often, it does hurt. I wouldn't want it any other way right now.

I've met some amazing people lately. One in particular. She has no clue how much she has peeked my interests. Or maybe she does. She probably does.  She's awesome.

My brother calls me a pimp. Probably because I am.

I'm excited about EVERYTHING.

I got 2 new cds today. ZOX and Wolfmother. Both are amazing.

Today is such a lazy day for me. I woke up with God punching the roof of the apartment. God meaning a dozen -or so- Mexican men doing construction on the roof.

Warped Tour was fun. Hot as hell. Out of Heidi, Andi Girl, and me, I was the only one who put on sunblock. They got burnt as all hell. I got a bit of color and only burnt on my chest. Everytime I've told people about my sunburn, they say it's because I was flashing so much. This might be true....if the burn had been a little lower. But it wasn't. Joan Jett is buff, I want to look like her...rightnowdamnit. Drinking beer and watching people watch wrestling is WAY more fun than I thought it would be.

Ha. I found out that someone in the United Kingdom searched net zero for "hoopz naked ass" and found my lonely little xanga site because of my reference to Hot Hoopz in my last entry.

I took pictures of my friend Laura's band Odius last night at the Granada. Finally got on the stage this time. It was thier keyboardist's first show with them. Cool shit.

I love Discovery Channel.

A 16 year old and his 12 year old cousin approached me at the Legends the other day. It was cute. It turned hilarious after I told the 16 year old, who was speaking for him and the 12 year old that "not only am I too old, I'm also a lesbian." He looked dissapointed, intrigued, and confused at the same time. He said he'd never seen a lesbian who looked like a girl before.

Do I look 15 or something?

mmm. doubleshot lite.

My friend Tom is coming over. He's hilarious. I wish he fit in my pocket.

"Open your mind, and shut your mouth."

"Change is on the way if you wanna figure out." -Go Betty Go

I need to do it.

I'm going to cut my hair. Not just because I want to. I need to. Whenever my life hits some sort of turning point, I have to change the way I look because I can't stand looking in the mirror at the same combination of colors and shape. I'm not cutting it butch. I'm cutting it the way Hazel wanted me to along time ago. Shorter than its ever been for the past 10 years. I feel like I'm going to shock myself. I'm also adding some color. Anyway...to some things up...my stomach is getting leaner(yay for being healthy and working out), my skin is getting darker, and my hair is getting shorter. I'm mentally preparing myself for this things. Most people will protest. Some already have. I'm not doing this to please anybody else, but I have been asking for honest opinions. Everything is half-and-half.

"Heaven's not a place that you go when you die, it's that moment in life when you actually feel alive, so live for the moment." - The Spill Canvas.

I woke up amazingly happy on Friday. Probably because I knew that I was going to do my Aunt-duty and hang out with my niece. I had a kick ass entire day. We went to see Over the Hedge, then we went and got her some snacks and hung out at the park. I then went to work, had a good night, good tips. Went to Stacy's going away party. We drank Margarita's. She's moving back to Chicago (She was here to take care of her sick dad for 2 months, she transferred to my Fridays store.) I'm gonna miss her crazy ass. Afterwards I went to Heidi's. I convinced Jonathan to come as well. Awesome. So we all hung out. It was grand time. I kick ass at Hot Hoopz. End of Story.

I'm gonna burn my ass off at Warped Tour on Monday. I can't wait. I got my ticket today.

"Taking your time trying to find your way. No knowledge that you've been led astray. Their holding you down with claws of love. Keep you from saying what your thinking of [...] You pretend to be happy. Nothing is more real than life. I will miss you. No spring in your step. Your shining fire has been put out. Sealed yourself in. Nothing can affect your thick skin. I can't get through to you, and now you'll never learn anything new." -Tsunami Bomb

Some people in this world are just seriously fucked up. On Thursday, Jason, Sarah and I...witnessed some just random crazy things. Bad things happened everywhere we went. Not really TO us, but just around us.

We were missing our 4th Horseman (of the Apocalypse).

I can't believe I lost myself sooo bad...and for so long. It's only in times like these that one really figures out what went on.

"Out of my gun. Into your burning heart." - Hot IQs

Jason, Ezra and I almost went to Colorado....I was just hanging out by myself at the apartment. Jason walks in and says "I BROUGHT AN EZRA!". Ezra then proceeds to tell me thier crazy plan. It didn't end up happening, but had we not been so tired, and had I had more money. It would have happened. ...I've never been. ....hopefully oneday.

Haircut or no?